How to Keep Rejection from Breaking You

Last week, the word of the week was “snub.”

A couple of sports headlines were about snubs. Hoops phenom Caitlin Clark was “snubbed” from being on the U.S. Olympic basketball roster. UConn men’s basketball coach Dan Hurley “snubbed” (or “spurned”) the Lakers’ lucrative offer to become their next head coach.

In the food world, a local headline declared “San Antonio snubbed for 23 years running in James Beard Awards” (awards for outstanding restaurants and chefs).

A lot of snubbing out there!

Rejection is a part of life – an unpleasant part. All of us face rejection at some point, especially when we step out and reach for a goal.

How do we keep rejection from breaking us?

Remember, even Jesus was rejected. People in His hometown spurned Him. (Luke 4:16) The religious leaders condemned Him. (Luke 9:22) An entire generation renounced Him. (Luke 17:25) Yet in a wonderful twist, God vindicated His Son: “This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone.” (Acts 4:11)

See the larger picture. Many times one person is rejected because another person was chosen based on their strong qualifications. Responding to the Caitlin Clark snub, one commentator asked, “Who would you have taken off the roster to open up a spot for her?” Choosing Clark would have meant displacing someone else. A wise friend of mine once applied for a position and found out he came in second place. When we learned who was chosen, he humbly said to me, “Well, looking at his abilities, I would have chosen him, too!”

Learn from the snub. Get better. Find ways to improve. Identify weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Press on with a better version of you. Develop greater resilience. “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again.” (Proverbs 24:16)

Use the snub as motivation. After discovering she was left off the Olympic roster, Clark scored 30 points in her next game, saying the selection team “woke a monster.” Michael Jordan famously looked for any slight as motivation. One time New York Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy made unflattering comments about Jordan. Subsequently Jordan torched the Knicks for 51 points. Have a fighting spirit that pushes forward with energy and determination.

Build your worth on God’s acceptance of you. The Bible says God “chose us in Him before the creation of the world.” (Ephesians 1:4) God does not reject you. He chose you in Christ to be His own! What people think about you is secondary to what God thinks about you. In Baptism, God says to you, “You’re on My team!”